Psycho. #41

What is the best film ever made, and why is it Eyes Wide Shut?

Thank you for writing in with this question. The best film ever made is Chantal Akerman’s Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975), which claimed the top spot in Sight & Sound’s 2022 poll of critics voting for the greatest movie of all time. You’re welcome!

Now, on to the second part of your question, which asks — erroneously, since the best film ever made is officially Chantal Akerman’s Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles (1975) — “why is it Eyes Wide Shut?” Well. Where to begin? OK, how about with this: as I started writing this column I contemplated abbreviating Eyes Wide Shut to EWS, to save time, but then I realised that EWS could also be an abbreviation for Richard Linklater’s dreadful 2016 campus romp, Everybody Wants Some!! Not that I don’t think Animus readers can be trusted to use context clues, of course — but it just really tickled me when I considered that Everybody Wants Some!! could easily be an alternative title for Eyes Wide Shut, and indeed would make for a better one. How absolutely terrible is that title, seriously? Eyes Wide Shut is like a title my 10-year-old would give to a story he handed in at school, which would get top marks and the comment “Great use of adverbs! :)” If other films followed the Eyes Wide Shut model of titling, Casablanca would be called “Now and Then”, Gone with the Wind would be called “Uncivil War”, and Gosford Park would be called “Too Many Cooks”.